Trying to Solve Stuttering? Your Stutter Isn't the Problem. Here's A Fresh Way Forward

If you stutter, you've probably been told: "Just take a deep breath. Slow down. Think before you speak. You'll grow out of it. Then you'll be fine." Who says this? Parents, teachers, and therapists (!) They mean well, but they make things worse!

Here's what decades of real work taught us: the problem isn't your stutter. It's how you hide it. We all need to talk more—and fear less.

The Four Cores:

Traditional speech therapy trains us to treat fluency. Diagnose the stutter. Stop the stutter. Fix the problem. But here's what decades of real-world evidence taught us:

First: Stuttering isn't something to "fix"—like Moses to King Charles, it's a condition like allergies or ADHD. It's what it is. The goal isn't to stop stuttering. It's to start living.

Second: Fluency is just the surface. What about the thoughts, the feelings, the dread that builds before you speak? Treating only the surface behavior actually makes things worse for the person who stutters.

So we stopped chasing the fluency rabbit hole and started paying attention to people. What actually changed their lives? A pattern emerged. I call it the Transcending X Four Core Framework.

Core 1: Self-Knowledge 🧠

Learn to make sense of stuttering, communication, and yourself.

Stuttering is unpredictable, which makes it confusing. But understanding it—really understanding yourself—changes everything: how you feel, what you do, how you move forward.

Start by noticing. When does speaking feel easier? When harder? Notice the patterns—certain people, certain spaces, certain times of day.

Notice what you think before you speak. Notice what your body does. Notice the shame or fear if it shows up.

This isn't analyzing your stutter. This is knowing yourself.

Practice this week: Notice three moments where you communicated. Who were you with? What were you saying? What did your body feel like? Write it down. That's data. That's wisdom.

Core 2: Self-Adjustment ⚙️

Explore practical tools to communicate with more ease and confidence.

Self-knowledge unlocks self-awareness. Self-awareness is the window to change. We call it self-adjustment.

Self-adjustment doesn't mean "fixing your stutter." It means: What can I do to influence how my words come out? What makes me stutter more? What leads to more tension? What creates smaller blocks?

Maybe it's pausing—giving space between phrases. Maybe it's easy voice—starting gradually instead of going full throttle. Maybe it's settling your nervous system through breathwork before you speak. Maybe it's shifting focus from how you sound to what you want to say.

These are experiments, not solutions. You're learning what works for you. You recover agency. You remember: you have influence here.

Practice this week: Pick one small adjustment. Not for fluency. For feeling more like yourself. A pause before you speak. Easier voice at the start. Running stairs before a presentation to loosen up. Having conversations where you feel comfortable and stop worrying about stuttering. See what happens. Use that discovery to direct your next step.

Core 3: Self-Acceptance 🧘🏾‍♂️

Being imperfect and being okay with it. This is foundational.

Self-acceptance means: this is me, right now. Without blame. Without shame. Too many people skip this—and they pay for it. You can't make lasting change when your inner critic is running the show and you have no tolerance for yourself.

Here's what matters: self-acceptance does NOT mean giving up on growth. You can pursue improvement and accept yourself in this moment. That's the paradox.

I've worked with entrepreneurs, physicians, performers, dancers, leaders. None became successful by eliminating stuttering. They became successful by stopping the constant hiding. They accepted their stutter—to some degree. They refused to be defined by it. They realized: I am more than my stutter.

The greatest risk of stuttering isn't the blocks. It's silence. Unspoken words lead to isolation.

When you accept your speech, something shifts. You free up energy. Resources get reallocated to what actually matters: your ideas, your wishes, your voice. Suddenly, what you say matters infinitely more than how you say it.

Your voice might be different. Remember: different is not less.

Practice this week: Say to yourself what you'd say to a friend. Write down compliments. Collect them. Repeat them daily. Notice what happens.

Core 4: Self-Advocacy 📣

When you're comfortable with yourself, you can be open with others.

Self-advocacy is simple: help others understand you and how to support you. It builds connection, respect, and opportunities to be truly heard.

Three steps:

  1. Tell people you stutter.

  2. Let them know what to expect.

  3. Ask for what helps.

For years, people who stutter stay silent about stuttering. Even worse, they don't tell others what would actually be helpful. Most people—parents, partners, coworkers—want to help. They just don't know how. It's ignorance, not malice.

You can change that.

Examples:

  • "I stutter. I might need extra time to answer questions."

  • "If I get stuck, just wait. It'll be worth it."

  • "I might stutter during my presentation, but I'm excited and confident about this."

  • "I'd appreciate if you didn't finish my sentences."

These aren't big asks. But they can change everything.

Practice this week: Tell one person you stutter. Share what helps you communicate better. See what happens when you're honest about what you need.

The Three Core Truths

Beyond the Four Cores, here are the truths that shift how people show up:

1. Treat People, Not Problems

You're not a problem to be solved.

You're a person with a unique communication style, a specific message, and value that has nothing to do with how fast or smoothly you speak.

When you shift from "I need to fix my stutter" to "I want to communicate my ideas," everything changes.

Techniques are tools. You are the point.

2. Courage Grows in the Stepping

Confidence doesn't arrive first. Courage shows up when you step forward despite fear. One call. One meeting. One conversation where you let yourself be heard.

Fear often stays. It changes, but it doesn't leave. And that's okay.

You don't wait for it to disappear. You acknowledge it and move anyway.

Every time you do this, you prove something to yourself: I can do hard things.

3. Language Shapes Reality

The words you use about yourself matter.

  • "I stutter badly" (judgmental) vs. "Sometimes I have big blocks, other times not" (descriptive)

  • "I can't speak publicly" vs. "I'm developing my public speaking skills"

  • "My speech is broken" vs. "I get stuck sometimes"

Judgmental language closes doors. Descriptive language opens them.

Pay attention to how you talk about yourself. Swap judgment for curiosity. Swap "can't" for "how can I?"

Your brain listens. Your reality follows.

Real Stories: The Pattern of Transformation

Here's what I've watched happen again and again:

Billy McLaughlin sent a 1:00 AM email with the subject: "Help: Stuttering Wrecking My Life." He was the public spokesman for a high-profile national organization, yet privately worn down. He couldn't make dinner reservations. Six weeks into intensive work, he stepped on stage and delivered a 12-minute speech to eight thousand people—opening for a former U.S. President—without a teleprompter or notes. Then he became the the Director of Digital Content at the White House. Billy didn't wait for perfect speech. (Read more about Billy)

Mark Friedlich grew up in a tenement on the Lower East Side, the son of Holocaust survivors. Bullies mocked his stutter in the schoolyard. Today he testifies before Congress, advises presidential administrations, and serves as VP of Government Affairs at a multinational corporation—stutter and all. As he says: "The fear remains. Always. But it no longer decides where we go." (TranscendingX Podcast #86)

John Hendrickson spent 30 years hiding his stutter. He thought he'd have to drive a truck—minimal talking. When invited on MSNBC after writing about Joe Biden's stutter, he was terrified. But he thought: How could I write about someone else not owning their stutter and then not live it myself? That TV appearance changed everything. Today he's a senior editor at The Atlantic and author of Life on Delay. He stopped fighting blocks and started focusing on content.

Dan Greenwald knew at age six that stuttering wouldn't define him. That sparked a lifelong question: How do people change? He built a system Thirty.Ten.Zero helping people—who stutter and who don't—identify limiting beliefs, build courage, and step into fear as opportunity. His mantra: "Everybody's got a stutter. What's yours? What stops you from being your truest, strongest self?" Today he teaches that transcending anything means staying in growth.

Cody Packer thought he'd need to hide his voice to protect others. Today he's a filmmaker directing, interviewing, and appearing on camera—stuttering openly. He made First Day, a film about stuttering seen worldwide. He returned to New Zealand and created a film with 14 young people who stutter, showing them their voices matter. He teaches breathwork and mindfulness—not to control speech, but to regulate the nervous system and stay present. (Transcending X Podcast #59)

The pattern? They all stopped waiting. They leaned into discomfort. They discovered their strength on the other side of fear. That’s the path of Transcending X.

How to Start

This week:

  • Self-Knowledge: Notice three moments when speaking felt easier. What was true about those?

  • Self-Adjustment: Try one small change. Cadence. Volume. Mindfulness.

  • Self-Acceptance: Say something out loud without managing how it sounds.

  • Self-Advocacy: Tell one person what helps you communicate better.

This month:

Longer term:

  • Build the habit of stepping. One conversation, one presentation, one moment of visibility at a time.

  • Remember: every time you do this, you're not just communicating. You're proving something to yourself about who you are and what you're capable of.

Resources That Matter

Community & Stories

Books & Voices

In Your Life

  • Find someone who stutters and listen to their story. It changes perspective.

  • Tell someone you stutter. Notice what happens.

  • Join a group or online space where people are talking openly about this.

The Bottom Line

Your stutter is not your limitation. It's information about who you are and how you communicate.

The goal is never fluency for fluency's sake. The goal is connection. Being heard. You knowing that your voice—exactly as it is—matters.

Barriers become catapults. The challenge doesn't define you. It refines you.

You have more strength than you think.

Tap into it.

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ResourcesUri SchneiderStuttering, Teens, Speech Therapy, SLP, Adults, School-age