Stuttering Debater. Not An Oxymoron. (Efe Ilgar, Guest Blog)
“Dealing with something like a stutter at such a young age was tough to grasp. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t say certain words with ease, and why others rolled off the tongue.”
Ever since I can remember, stuttering has been an important part of my life. Perhaps initially as a toddler, an obstacle that I thought stood in my way, and now as a teenager, an important part of who I am, occasionally a differentiator, sometimes a challenge but a constant nevertheless. What I recall the most from my initial experiences with stuttering was feeling confused and almost disappointed with myself. Dealing with something like a stutter at such a young age was tough to grasp. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t say certain words with ease, and why others rolled off the tongue. I knew something was amiss but wasn't sure what. Thankfully, never the quiet one, I shared my frustration with my parents which helped start my journey.
“Thankfully, never the quiet one, I shared my frustration with my parents which helped start my journey. ”
Seeing a speech therapist for the first time – I vividly remember meeting Uri Schneider in Brooklyn – introduced me to the idea that stuttering or speech bumps for the 6-year-old me was okay. And it was a puzzle that I can keep working on with help. While there wasn't necessarily a foolproof method to make it disappear, there were and are many ways and techniques to increase my speech fluency. After just a couple of sessions with Uri and Malka Burton, proper usage of spaces between words and slowing down my speech altogether, made a massive difference. A difference that wasn’t only limited to my stutter, but also to everything else that I did. While dealing with a stutter at a young age might have seemed like a disadvantage, I now realize it actually carried many benefits too. One of these was the introduction of the idea of pushing through obstacles and mental hurdles.
“While dealing with a stutter at a young age might have seemed like a disadvantage, I now realize it actually carried many benefits too. One of these was the introduction of the idea of pushing through obstacles and mental hurdles.”
I remember walking into a CVS with Malka, so that I could start a conversation with the employees and ask them many questions before buying a pack of gum. Overall, two relatively simple techniques improved my speech almost instantly, it is those same techniques that I applied to other challenges that I faced: first staying calm and focusing on my breathing when I things didn’t go my way, and secondly not rushing through anything, whether it is talking or my exams. Learning those skills at such a young age made me grateful for having the obstacle of stuttering. It also gave me the courage to seek obstacles that I could overcome, calm and collected.
“Learning those skills at such a young age made me grateful for having the obstacle of stuttering. It also gave me the courage to seek obstacles that I could overcome, calm and collected.”
Before you know it, I wouldn’t let my parents call restaurants for our takeout. It was my challenge to take on. I truly believe that in today's society, being unique in many different ways is a valuable thing. Having something that sets you apart allows you to see the world in a totally different lens and bring a differentiated perspective to the table. My experience with having a stutter and the desire to tackle this challenge head-on ultimately led me to my passion for debate.
“My experience with stuttering and the desire to tackle this challenge head-on, ultimately led me to my passion for debate.”
When I was in the 7th grade, I went to a debate information session and ended up joining my school's debate team. Debating is an activity in which one's ability to speak not just clearly but also efficiently is key, given the existence of time limits. And for someone with a stutter, it seems slightly counter-intuitive that this would be their extracurricular activity of choice. However, similar to when actors with stutter step onto stage, my stutter seemingly vanished when I was "in the zone" for debate. I found that when I was passionate about something, my excitement just took over and I forgot that I even had a stutter.
“I found that when I was passionate about something, my excitement just took over and I forgot that I even had a stutter.”
As I continued to successfully debate, I realized that many times my worry or expectation of stuttering is what caused it in the first place. And when I took my mind off it and only thought about the subject matter that I was speaking about, I was able to achieve what was and what still is essentially a stutter-free speech. Now going into junior year of high school I still debate, and I still stutter. Since I began debating, my debate partner, who has remained the same throughout, and I have won multiple championships, as well as myself being successful in taking home a couple of different individual top speaker honors as well.
Over the last two years, I started sharing some of what I've learned as a mentor for younger kids in my stuttering community. I came to realize that I have so much to share with especially young debaters. As I continue through life in high school, I couldn’t be more grateful for everything I've learned from my stuttering journey and thankful for everyone who helped and supported me along the way.
Efe, thank you for this magnificent piece. When we met you, we saw your spark. It’s wonderful to see you shining bright and getting better over time. Wishing you much success in debate and life!
Efe Ilgar
Want to see more teen blog posts like this?
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