Happy birthday.

It may seem like a strange way to open a tribute to the life of someone who passed away, but if you knew Dr. Joel Stark, it isn’t strange at all. He must have said it every day, “Every day is a birthday!”

We are overwhelmed by the loss of our teacher, mentor, colleague and friend. Joel Stark lived an ordinary life with extraordinary zest, and for many of us fortunate to be his students, colleagues and friends, he kindled inside of us, a portion of his passion, commitment and care.

Professionally: he embodied and transmitted to us, the pursuit of professionalism, scientific curiosity and intellectual rigor, coupled with the most generous spirit, pouring heart and soul into every encounter.

Personally; he was forever young. Joel was always dressed with a smile, accompanied by a chuckle as he would kick back in his chair entertained or entertaining whatever you shared, embracing technology and cutting edge advancements far more than people half his age, making time to breath in life and sip the finer things like a glass of red wine, and always keeping it real, keeping it humble.

Part of his miraculous life, was the longevity and consistency through which he personified commitment, service, care and personal attention - year after year, day in and day out. He was always a phone call away, an email response within hours. Really, whether you had his attention, or had him in your mind, his voice was one of wise counsel, and encouragement to follow your path forward.

He was blessed with many achievements and accolades, but certainly among his greatest pride, were the countless people - the clients and the clinical professionals whose lives are forever changed by his gracious impact.

Thankful for the opportunity to call Dr. Joel Stark a mentor, honored to be a colleague and humbled to think of him a lifelong friend.

May your memory be a blessing and forever bring more good into the lives of people in this world.

(More clips forthcoming…. Click here for playlist.)

If we're lucky, once in a lifetime, we meet someone who becomes a lifelong friend.

And Joel, you have been that mentor, colleague, and father figure- all wrapped into one person for hundreds of us. Institutions take their lead from the top down.

The Queens College Speech & Hearing Center and the Queens College undergraduate and graduate programs modeled your value that is love therapeutic ingredient.

And you transmitted that value to each of us by the way you treated us, whether we were colleagues, students, anyone.

You also reminded us on a daily basis just life was to be enjoyed to the max.

Every moment to be spent appreciating all the gifts in the world.

You always told us, it was always a birthday party.

And you never retired. You retreaded.

You added more rubber so you could share more joy, wisdom, and love.

I will always remember your word and your lessons.

And I promise to share them with future generations as I did today was my grandchildren.

Joel, we miss you.

We love you.

This week my mentor, colleague, and friend, Joel Stark, passed away.

The man was a giant.

The only thing bigger than him was the impact he had in my life, in my career and in all of my fellow alumni and the faculty at Queens College.

The impact he had was beyond measure and beyond time.

He was my father's professor.
He knew me since I was an infant.
While I was a grad student he danced at my wedding, just before I entered grad school.
And as a first-year grad student, he celebrated the birth of my first son.

He knew my family, he knew me.
And I felt like I knew him like a grandfather or an uncle.

I remember growing up spending time at the faculty parties at Fire Island.
I remember as an undergrad, poking with him and chatting with him.
And if I came into the clinic he would talk to me, even though he was busy using his Apple Mac computer before most people even knew that was a thing.

He would take the time and interest to ask us how we were doing.
To get to know each of us and to plant inside of us the confidence that we mattered - and our thinking and our decision-making was worth it.

I'll share one story, one vignette, that I remember in senior seminar or whatever it was called.
We were sitting there, it was the end of grad school and we were learning how to write reports and evals.

And he gave each of the students another report.
We went around to critique the reports - we didn't know who it was about or who wrote it.

The report I got was way too simple, far too simplistic, written with layman terminology, for too simplistic and not enough professional jargon and polish.

So, I gave feedback as such.
Of course he asked me for my feedback, and I didn't hold back as he encouraged us to be open and to voice our opinions. And I let him know. I thought it was it was way too simplistic. It didn't have enough of the professional vernacular and terminology.

He listened to me go on and on and even riled me up a bit and egged me on to go further.

Only then to reveal to me who was the author of the report?
None other than him.

And in that moment he taught me so many valuable lessons.

One is to trust yourself and the second is never try to be too fancy.

Keep it simple.
Keep it real.
Make a difference in people's lives.
Be professional.
Be intelligent.
Be grounded in research and best practice.
And in the end of the day, keep it human.

And as he always used to say "everyday is a birthday."

And so as I'm out here in nature, with my kids, I think about Joel.

I think about what he would wish to say.

And certainly, he'd enjoy the fact that I'll go home and enjoy a glass of wine.

Every day is a birthday.
So today, and everyday we'll think of you.

You're alive in all of us - in our work and in our hearts.