Mindful Mentorship with Kristin Chmela (LIVE #21)
Meet Kristin Chmela.
Watch conversation, scroll down for notes, scroll further to see bio
NOTES: ENJOY THE CONVERSATION:
Kristin Chmela is a kind-hearted woman who seeks to help others in the realm of speech. She is the founder of Camp Shout Out (http://www.chmelafluencycenter.com/services/camp-shout-out/), whose role is to make children feel comfortable with their stutter and help them improve overall. In this conversation with Uri Schneider (ft. guest Phil Schneider), she discusses the faulty mentality some people have with “fixing” stutters and her life growing up.
US: Being a parent and bringing a child into the world and raising a child is always a very intense experience. Some have the privilege to know what it is to be a grandparent. What can you share about the difference in your journey in parenting and grandparenting?
KC: Well I think when you’re the grandparent you can observe and then you can go home. I have two great joys but there is nothing quite like being a grandparent.
US: Here you are today and it’s so easy to see the final product of years of the journey of living. What was Kristin like growing up?
KC: Kristin growing up was very different on the outside than on the inside. So I could say that I appeared to be very social and have lots of friends. I was very creative and was a dancer; I enjoy that tremendously. On the inside, I suffered from depression often. I was bullied quite a bit when I was in grammar school and it certainly had a lasting impact on me. I always wanted to be part of the group but I never knew exactly how… I had extreme anxiety because of my difficulties communicating. The other thing I wanted to say with the question prior to that was “what are you most proud” and I am most proud of how far I’ve come as a person.
US: Certainly we work with people you advocate for young people who stutter. All the feelings are legitimate but the important thing is checking in and seeing what each person is going through…another big line of yours is there is no one way and there is no right time. What would you say in terms of insights about there being “no one way”? How do you find your way?
KC: There are so many choices involved. It’s the first choice to start paying attention. Where are you and what’s happening and who’s around you to support you. Then there’s the next choice to move forward. I always like to say to be present where you are now and do the next thing.
US: the dichotomy of the outside and the inside of being that far along of what might be thought of as “acceptance” or being “cured.” Can you shed some light on the nuance of adults who get past stuttering?
KC: That is a very important topic because I do feel that so many speech pathologists will hear something and then try to apply it without the depth of knowledge that is needed to move someone along in this process. I think at different times in life we perceive things in the present and as we continue along in the journey we alter those perceptions.
US: How is Camp Shout Out evolving into the times that we are living through? What can you share about that?
KC: The first point I’m going to address is something that Dr. Gregory always talked about which is we work on modifying behaviors. I’m not talking about fluency, I’m talking about things like holding onto someone’s face when you’re stuttering or using a stronger handshake to get back to handshakes. There are so many ways we can modify behavior and as we do that our emotions begin to change. We may have some positive feelings about what we’re capable of and our perceptions may change and as our perceptions change about ourselves or beliefs, our behavior changes as well. So, all of these things are intertwined. Which I think is very important for parents to remember and for speech pathologists to remember. It’s not just one thing it’s multiple things that we’re doing that all interact with each other. At the end of the day can the person feel like they’ve been seen and can the person feel like that person that’s helping me is truly understanding me.
Phil Schneider comes in.
PS: You’re such a gift. I personally needed to hear you now and I didn’t know who to call for help with the struggles emotionally. I feel like being in your presence is therapeutic. I hope I can hold on to every single word and every single thought that was said. I don’t just hear your words but the way you express yourself is so profound. Thank you so much.
US: There is such nuance and subtlety in so many ways to create a space for the person just as they are and at the same time opportunities for growth, evolution, and development. Just as you said Kristen it is concerning when the conversation becomes too polarized and binary.
KC: When we have limited experience with the depth of these types of treatments and the manner in which we problem-solve around each case. We are looking at this very simply. A speech pathologist may say to a parent what we’re working on acceptance and the child is 4 and so there’s so much we need to know. Any problem is complex and I go back to these basic principles. The more we ask ourselves about what it is we’re trying to figure out the more were able to meet the needs of the family.
How to reach Kristen Chmela:
Chmela Fluency Center -1161 McHenry Road Suite 201 Buffalo Grove, Illinois 60089
BIO
Kristin Chmela, M.A. CCC-SLP BCS-F spends the majority of her time working with individuals of all ages with fluency disorders at the Chmela Fluency Center in the suburban Chicago area. She has lectured on the topic of childhood stuttering around the world. She is co-founder and co-director of Camp Shout Out, a therapeutic program for school-age children who stutter and a hands-on training opportunity for professionals and graduate students. Kristin was former Chair of the American Board of Fluency and Fluency Disorders, has supervised graduate students from across the globe, and provides professional apprenticeships at her center. Kristin collaborated extensively with the Stuttering Foundation on training videos, conferences, and publications, and is lead author of Basic Principle Problem Solving: Working with School-Age Children Who Stutter. Kristin is also a certified yoga instructor and mindfulness teacher, and believes all can choose to continue evolving as communicators.