“It does seem like everything sucks and that nothing’s good, but just remember, basically four points. One, don’t give up, two, it gets better, three, be patient. And four, be resilient. It may have taken me a bit longer to get to where I am, and I went through a lot of hardships, but the last five, six years have been beyond rewarding, to say the least”

— Ryan Cowley

Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts or your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch the interview on YouTube.

BIO:

Ryan has been a sportswriter for over 10 years, predominantly covering hockey and the NHL's Los Angeles Kings for, most recently, HockeyRoyalty.com where he is a co-editor. Ryan has covered such events as the Stanley Cup Final, and the Hockey Hall of Fame Induction Weekend, and has written for publications such as CBC Sports and The Globe & Mail, both based in his home city of Toronto.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

0:00-5:00 Announcements

5:01-6:22 Intro

6:23-14:58 Something not included in Ryan's bio

14:59-22:38 Turning point

22:39-26:25 Writing headlines

26:26-28:43 Transcribing stuttering

28:44-37:57 Cerebral palsy, depression, and stuttering

37:58-42:30 Ryan's book "All the right words" and writing goals

42:31-48:42 Biggest influence 

48:43-55:53 What I would tell my younger self 

55:54-57:01 Closing remarks

RESOURCE LIST

• All The Right Words

MORE QUOTES

"Each person has their own journey, and similarly, each person has their own breakthrough. Hopefully, each person gets to that point" - Uri Schneider.

"You can be a supportive ally and even an inspiration - even if you don't stutter. Just show up. Have those conversations and be the best friend, parent, sibling, spouse, you can be." - Uri Schneider

TRANSCRIPTION:

Uri Schneider: Awesome. Awesome. All right, we are on live.

Uri Schneider: All right. All right. All right. Here we are. 2022. Welcome to the sick episode. When I was in high school, 94 Rangers won the Stanley cup. Coolest word was sick, man. That was sick. Could you imagine if it was 2022 and like, that was the cool thing to say, like so not cool. Right? That's been reappropriated by like Omicron and a bunch of other Greek letters.

Uri Schneider: Here we are. It's a new year. It's also a new episode. We are going beyond stuttering, transcending stuttering. We're going north. We're going above, above the border into Canada, keeping it international with an amazing guest today. Ryan Kelly. And just before I get into the intro here, I'll just share with everybody.

Uri Schneider: First of all, I shared this in a message at the end of 2021 on a video, but I would just say this, if we are looking ahead and feeling a little overwhelmed, we're in good company because I'm in that company. And if we're looking ahead and feeling like we don't know what's coming next, we're in good company.

Uri Schneider: Um, but I would just say each and every one of us, if we're here, if we're listening to this live, or if we're listening to this on a playback podcast later, we made it, we made it and we should look back and see what were the things that enabled us that gave us strength that kept us in a stronger place that kept us healthy.

Uri Schneider: In the past months, cause we've been through this already for a couple months. We're battle tested. We're coming into 2022 whatever it throws at us. It's not our first time at this rodeo. So I just encourage everybody as overwhelming. And as much as it can feel like we don't know what's next, we feel like we've been through the worst of it.

Uri Schneider: We're coming through the other end. I don't know what's coming either, but I do know I'm overwhelmed. I'm unsure. It makes me uneasy. I don't function at my best. There was a study I saw it's been proven now that the stress of COVID actually decreases cognitive functioning, big finding, big finding. It's now research proven as if you needed that.

Uri Schneider: But, uh, but my point to everyone is to say this, it might decrease our cognitive functioning. But if we're here, we've learned a little bit of something about what triggers us, what puts us over the top, what are some ways that we are getting buried or got buried in the past and what are some ways that we've crawled out or that we've stayed strong?

Uri Schneider: So I just wish everybody stays strong. Look back, look forward and find the company of people that get it. People that can be supportive, whatever you're dealing with, you shouldn't feel alone. And if you're in a position that you're healthy and well, take the time to reach out and share the abundance that you have with someone else, whether it's a phone call to a family member, to a friend, to someone, a message on Facebook, whatever everybody is looking for, that human connection in a time that we're more and more isolated.

Uri Schneider: And as the world is moving into tech, we're looking for that human connection, which brings me to my second big announcement, which I'll be very brief. And that is 2022 is going to be a huge year. Uh, for all of us and for me personally, I am incredibly excited to reflect and to build on everything we've done in the past.

Uri Schneider: We're now going to be rolling out a easy access to a community of people, humans around the world who are just transcending stuttering, uh, with courage, with honesty, with vulnerability and with community kind of pulling together each person in their own way to lean into the challenges, discover the opportunities and come out on the other side stronger and better for it.

Uri Schneider: Whether that means they're still stuttering or they're not stuttering, but growing and finding community and discovering that the best stuff we have is inside of us. And sometimes it takes adversity to squeeze it out and you can't draw a line from here to there when you look forwards, but you look back and you say, wow, and it's stories like Ryan's and others.

Uri Schneider: They continue to prove that message. And the intention of this is really for me to keep learning for myself, to be a guide for others, to fuel my own fire, to be honest, and also to share these stories with others, because if you met Ryan just a couple of years ago, you might not have expected. He'd be the Ryan, uh, of today.

Uri Schneider: And so without further ado, stay tuned, send me a message if you're interested, but we got some incredible things coming up in January. We're also going to open up and release a pretty outstanding calendar for the coming months and months of all sorts of opportunities for professionals, people who stutter parents.

Uri Schneider: There we go. That wraps up what I wanted to say about that. We are in the presence of an award winning sports writer, author, celebrity. Most of those things are fully true without any hyperbole. Ryan has been a sports writer for over 10 years, predominantly covering hockey and the NHLs LA Kings. Uh, most recently check out hockey royalty.com, where he is the co editor.

Uri Schneider: Ryan's covered such events as the Stanley cup final. For those of you Americans that don't follow hockey. That's like the world series of hockey, the hockey hall of fame induction weekend. And he's written for publications such as the CBC sports and the globe and mail both based in his home city of Toronto.

Uri Schneider: So shout out to all my Torontonian friends and without further ado, I want to thank you, Ryan, for taking the time to join us for,

Ryan Cowley: um, uh, a good,

Ryan Cowley: um, um,

Ryan Cowley: Thank you very much for that introduction. I really appreciate that.

Uri Schneider: It's an, it's not often. I get to, to like my impression of a radio voice introduction that you bring out the sports writer, you gotta, you gotta bring out your best game. So thanks for joining. And it was an honor to introduce, what would be one thing that does not show up in that bio that you feel is something you're proud of excited about and want people to know,

Ryan Cowley: that's a really good question.

Ryan Cowley: Um, I know when speaking to a, to other people who stutter um, I, ,

Ryan Cowley: um, everyone's had to, it's been like very different very unique. And, uh, I, you know, and mine, like there's no exception. Um, uh, uh, like, so, so for instance, uh, I like when I first started seeing speech therapists, I was maybe four, but like, uh, but, um, I believe, uh, that was predominantly because I was so shy that I didn't speak and like, uh, um, uh, how that started.

Ryan Cowley: I'm not sure. I think, you know, just a sensitive, uh, kid in general and, uh, um, I think that's really start stuttering when i was , I don't even know it was maybe six or around six and, uh, And to be honest, like, like, uh, when it starts stuttering, even the first few years of stuttering, uh, I, um, I guess because I started so young, I didn't really see anything out of the ordinary.

Ryan Cowley: I just figured like, um, uh, uh, um, Yeah. I never saw myself as a person who stuttered or someone who's different. I just thought, well, I did this. So it's in the struggle to me. Um, I, uh, but like, uh, but like, it was one of those things where you kinda like, I, I, um, I, um, uh, I guess in a small sense, you kind of like, like build your own identity over the, um, uh, over the years, like, like, um, um, uh, you know, and I'm sure a lot of, uh, people who stutter can relate to this, but like, uh, but like as a child, I was.

Ryan Cowley: Uh, like I was teased a lot and bullied even, and it's one of these things as an adult, I say a lot, but like, um, uh, uh, but the teasing bullying, it's like, like, uh, you know, even though there are a lot more people like teachers, adults who were, were supportive, it's like, uh, I couldn't help but focus on, on those, like, on that fraction of people who, who were negative towards me and, um, uh, uh, um, no, it, it described for the longest time.

Ryan Cowley: Uh, I'd say myself, well, not myself, but out loud too. It's like, like, uh, uh, um, you know, like not to be dramatic, but kind of like, like looking up to those sky and saying like, and asking God, like, you know, uh, why, why am I. Why do i have any stuttering? You know, why am I, why am I like this? And then it's like, and, uh, uh, um, uh, and part of it.

Ryan Cowley: It's just like, you know, you're at, at that young age where you just don't quite have an appreciation for like a, a better perspective on life, because, uh, because you know, you know, the people who are a lot worse off, but, but at the same time, it's like, um, uh, and on my book, um, uh, you know, I just talked about how like how, you know, how I've viewed my son , you know, uh, has a

Ryan Cowley: purposes for the longest time. And, , and only in recent years, like the last five, 10 years even, I, um, um, you know, I am still in the process of like, uh, uh, getting better with my speech, but, but at the same time, it's like, just the thought of it, a big curse was so like, like archaic to me.

Ryan Cowley: And now it's like, I mean, I wouldn't say blessing necessarily, uh, but like, uh, but like, it, it, it can definitely be advantageous that you can definitely use it, like in your favor. Uh, that's how I feel at least. And, um, uh, Uh, I'm sorry. I'm kind of really circling around this answer.

Ryan Cowley: Um, uh, basically what I want people to know is that like, uh, yeah, for the longest time, I just had a really negative, uh, outlook on my stuttering and I, you know, and, and I just wanted to let people know who are in my position that I was in, uh, that like, You know, you can change that, but also don't be pressured to change it right away.

Ryan Cowley: Like, like, um, like for instance, if you're, if you're listening to this and think, uh, uh, well, I want to be positive. Like, don't feel pressured that like uh, you have to do it like right now because, uh, everyone is different, but believe me, like my experience, this has not been, uh, by any means an overnight process.

Ryan Cowley: So like, yeah. Uh, uh, yeah, so like, when I was like 18, I figured like, oh man, you know, um, uh, I wish I had a better grasp on things when I was 14 or like, but you know what you know, just like, don't put age or number on it. It's just like, there's, uh, just like, like, as the old adage goes, it's, uh, it's better late than never.

Ryan Cowley: Right.

Uri Schneider: As we said before, we start Showtime, you know, uh, there's three periods in hockey is four quarters in basketball. Uh, sometimes you get, uh, overtime, but yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Tell us, um, as you said, you know, on the one hand, there's a very universal story arc. When you talk to enough people that live with a certain condition, and even when you go broader than that, you can look at the arc of stories of people dealing with all sorts of adversity, whether it's stuttering or something else.

Uri Schneider: As you said as well, each person for as well has a different set of circumstances, your stutter doesn't look like someone else's stutter. And then there's another person whose stutter looks very different. I think that's the first thing that I keep reminding myself, like 101 when we're on these Facebook groups or you're looking online, like to recognize stuttering as an umbrella term and that many people find identity under that umbrella with great value to that.

Uri Schneider: But at the same time, if you don't know the shoes, someone else is walking in, you know, don't assume it's the same stutter that you have in your mind, or if it's a parent of a young person or whatever. Uh, so each person has their own journey and similarly, each person has their own breakthrough. Hopefully each person gets to that point.

Uri Schneider: Um, for you, what would you say was part of, or an important ingredient or an important personality in that kind of coming around that end, as you described kind of emerging from throwing your hands up in the air. And why me to getting to a point of, uh, what you described as kind of coming through on the other side by no means an overnight story, but was there some ingredient input or individual that played a part in that.

Ryan Cowley: Uh, uh, to be honest, like, like, I only, I only started reaching out to the stuttering community within the last, uh, four or five years actually. Um, I, you know, now, like, uh, now I live in Toronto, as you mentioned.

Ryan Cowley: Well, um, in the fall of 2018, uh, the Canadian Southern association during the conference and, uh, and I think I maybe spoke at one or two people who stutter online and then before that, um, um, uh, maybe a few more, but like, um, uh it's uh, I, yeah, I remember hearing about the, uh, CSA conference and it wasn't far from where I lived and, um, um, you know look into it and I, you know, not as, as myself, like, you know, this summer, I really want to attend because like, um, um, uh, uh, You know, it just means like, I mean, so many other people who stutter and listening and hearing so many people speak and, uh, um, I, yeah, I, I, yeah, I, um, uh, uh,

Ryan Cowley: um, uh, yes, I was done. I went and like, I wasn't disappointed at all. It was a fantastic conference and I,

Ryan Cowley: um, there, you know, the speaker, uh, um, what was it. And author at the name of, uh, David Stones and, um, uh, uh, I don't know. I, I don't know. Um, um, uh, uh, no, no. Yeah. So, uh, uh, so Mr. Stones David was, was up there speaking, uh, just telling you a story about like, you know, First writer is, uh, you know, it was time as a student at the university of Toronto and, um, uh, um, uh, and it's, uh, and they're just embedded is like, you know, stage presence was very calm.

Ryan Cowley: It is like, uh, he was like very eloquent and, and, and fluid just sounded like a natural storyteller and, uh, uh, I, I know, uh, And I remember like, like seriously thinking, uh, during the speech it's like, well, well, like, no, Tara was like, uh, like wondering, um, uh, what the connection to stuttering was because like, if, uh, if you had like a friend or a loved one who stuttered, because like, uh, cause like to me he spoke so fluently. It's like, well, there's no way he could be a stutterer, a person who stuttered probably

Ryan Cowley: and, uh, he, um, uh, uh, yeah, and then he talks about his own like, um, uh, his own challenges as the person who stutters. And I'm like, wait, what? Uh, because like, uh, uh, cause like, I mean, I don't know how old David is. I don't know. Uh, I think like fifties, early sixties and like like, uh, just go through his stories and like, uh, you know, and just describing his own hardships as a, as a person who stutters, it's not like, huh?

Ryan Cowley: Uh, well, at first I was really liking him because he was such a great storyteller. Uh, but now, now respect him more because he's a person who stutters and, and I'm not saying I wouldn't respect him less of your work. I'm just like, uh,

Uri Schneider: I appreciate that. I appreciate that sensitivity of having respect for those of us that don't stutter.

Ryan Cowley: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Uh, and like, and like, um, uh, um,

Ryan Cowley: Uh, yeah, there was just something about, uh, David's speech I'm really, uh, um, um, really resonated with me, really stood out and, and like, and like, uh, and like i even spoke to him afterwards, you know, I was thrilled, he was constantly gentlemen. He was like very humble and soft spoken.

Ryan Cowley: And, uh, I don't know. Uh, uh, and the big thing for me was like, and, uh, and, and, and, um, Uh, like again, I don't know David's age. Exactly. But being that he's like in fifties or around that, um, uh, uh, yeah, that was like a good reminder that like I like, um, uh, well, here I am someone who grew up, they get like, not just a stutterer, but other areas in life, but like, but stuttering specifically, uh here I was thinking that like, man, I hear so many people, kids who stuttered, who grew out of it and it's like, well, um, uh, I guess I have to grow out of it at some point, otherwise, Um, I'm personally unsatisfactory, I guess, for lack of a better term.

Ryan Cowley: Um, um, uh, no, no. Uh, and so like, I've thought about that. And then when I heard David speak, I'm like, even though he was still a person who stutters uh, you know, it was clear that he had a much better grasp on it and, uh, uh, but just from his attitude, from his like general, uh, outlook, he didn't seem like, uh, uh, the least bit like bitter about it at all.

Ryan Cowley: I believe he was really, uh, you know, he, he was a real pro about it and, uh, you know, and that's one big lesson that I took. It's like, um, I, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how old you are. It's, you know what I mean?

Uri Schneider: Totally. You know, some sooner, some later. Yeah,

Ryan Cowley: exactly. Yes.

Uri Schneider: Um, if you know, you know, um, Are you, or do you write your own, uh, there's like a side coming at you from left field, but just curious, I'm fascinated with your profession and your craft.

Uri Schneider: Um, do you write your own headlines? Is that something you do?

Ryan Cowley: Yes, I do. Um, I do admit, uh, uh, I, uh, headlines. I've never really been my forte though,

Uri Schneider: but yeah, that's fine. So then I was going to, I was going to ask you because headlines are not my forte either. I was going to say, Hmm, if we could look back at that speech and give it a headline, you know, like a takeaway, something would be like a juicy teaser.

Uri Schneider: We don't have to do that now, but I think it's cool to kind of look back at complex experiences and like catalog them and file them, you know, as like capturing them in that way. And I, and I also want to give you a shout out. You have the greatest Twitter handle of all time in my opinion oh, yes. I, uh, you know, as a dyslexic, uh, guy who takes a long time to read and, uh, I have to use some strategies, myself and employees and things that I do to do that.

Uri Schneider: And thankfully pick those up along the way. And spelling was never easy. But your handle as a, as a writer is Ryan writes good. And you know, I've been trying to convince my mother-in-law that that's the right way to write it. She thinks it's Ryan writes well, when you have an adverb, I've been trying to tell her that it's Ryan writes.

Uri Schneider: Good.

Ryan Cowley: Yeah, that's right. Uh, hint hint.

Uri Schneider: Yeah. If you're listening, if you're listening, obviously the point is that the, uh, Queen's English would suggest that it's Ryan writes well, but apparently in Canada, this is how they write.

Ryan Cowley: Well, I, I, uh, uh, I, I know, you know, what to be honest, like, like, um, uh, yeah, for the longest time I went by the Azusa queen Queen's English and it's like, uh, uh, cause like whenever, uh, athletes, uh, speaking post game, interview something, uh, you know, talk about how they played and they, uh, you know, how they play good.

Ryan Cowley: And, and I'm there sitting on the couch saying, well, you know, as a boast, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know. I, um, yeah. And that was a mindset. Um, I, you know, it was all of those things that like gets me, it's just one of those things. Like, you know, I, I just correct jokingly. It's like, like, uh,

Uri Schneider: Yeah, I think it's great though, because I think what's great about it on so many levels.

Uri Schneider: And I think it goes into this whole conversation about stuttering is that if you're a sports writer, most of us would obsess about the copy would obsess about the spelling, the layout, the font on our resume, your Twitter handle is agrammatical for crying out loud like that it's different. It's memorable, you know, if it was Ryan writes, well, first of all, be a really lame Twitter handle.

Uri Schneider: Remember it? It's like, yeah, does John, but Ryan writes good. There's not a lot of others like that. And you know, it's memorable. And so I remember, um, um, Catherine Preston in her book, uh, 'Out With It' says this at the end of her book, she says, you know this thing that she despised, this thing that she was looking to eradicate became a sort of signature in networking and, and being memorable.

Uri Schneider: Um, I think that's really profound. What would you say? What other interesting question, actually again, off the, off the topic, but it relates to the topic. There's always this question when I'm transcribing a podcast and there's stuttered speech, where there are these other sounds that may come in for someone who stutters, um, which parts of that am I white washing and taking away their voice versus which parts of that are not part of their intended message and should be cleaned out.

Uri Schneider: So I'm wondering, put that aside for a moment. If you've, that's a really interesting conversation, let's bring it to sports. So you get these athletes and they're like, yeah, coach taught us real good. He taught us real good. We were prepared, you know, and, and that's their vernacular. That's how they're speaking when you're writing.

Uri Schneider: And the paper, uh, what are the rules? Do you clean it up? Do you make it grammatical? Or if their words were spoken in that way, you put it in the way they were spoken.

Ryan Cowley: Mmm,

Uri Schneider: it's okay. This is the sick episode. That was perfect. Yes. Perfect.

Ryan Cowley: Um, I could say, yeah. You know, a lot for instance. Uh, so like if they're, uh, um, yeah, I was transcribing a speech a few weeks ago and like, and when the players, uh, when answering something that, that wouldn't transcribe it, it was only about like a minute long, uh, put the amount of, you know, she said in there it's like, oh my God, I can't use all these it's so, uh, yeah.

Ryan Cowley: So like, um, yeah, that's all I get as a formal rule, like, like, I mean sometimes leave it out. Sometimes it was like, uh, do the brackets, men dot, dot, dot, uh, in place of it. Uh, I don't know. I mean like, yeah, as long as it doesn't take away from the story yeah. Right. Okay.

Uri Schneider: So now to more of what some of the topics I was excited to talk to you about and that you shared, you'd be willing to talk about, which I think is really courageous and helpful talking about the things that need to be talked about more. Um, so not only do you have a stutter, I think that's more apparent, uh, as we're having this conversation, but you also have cerebral palsy and you live with depression, which is less visible as we're sitting here.

Uri Schneider: Um, what would you say has been. The more challenging of those three, uh, is, are they equally or each in their own way or is one more so, and I'll just preface that by saying is you could kind of think a little bit about it, but I know, I know I met one Canadian country singer. I believe if I'm not mistaken, he's blind and he stutters.

Uri Schneider: And he said, stuttering is far more challenging for him than being blind. And I know another performing musician who was also blind, ultimately was confronted with cancer and had a stutter and also depression. And she too, when she dealt with cancer and faced the end of her life, depression and blindness did not, did not challenge her as much as the frustration of not, not finding her way with her stutter.

Uri Schneider: So in a way, the stutter, which many outsiders could feel would be like of the lesser. Compared to something like cerebral palsy or depression, uh, for the lived experience of this person, this was the biggest one. So I don't know if you relate to that in any way, but I think it's just an interesting insider's view.

Uri Schneider: I don't know if you'd like to share on that or take it where you want to go.

Ryan Cowley: Yeah. Uh, absolutely. Um, uh, well, I'll be honest. Like cerebral palsy was, was a fact in maybe the first nine, 10 years of my life. And, that was more or less I still have it obviously. But like, but like, I mean, I talked about this in my book.

Ryan Cowley: It's like, uh, back when I was born, it's like most babies come on with head first, like came on my bumper. So it, uh, I, and so it was a breach and like.

Uri Schneider: Your feet first or your bum

Ryan Cowley: bum. Yeah. So yeah, I, I've never been good at science or anything like that. So like, uh, um, uh, a book, but more or less, it's like, I've, um, I just lost a bit more oxygen at birth that than I should have.

Ryan Cowley: Uh, so they put me in a brace and, and, uh, uh, geez. I remember the first like, well, I don't remember, but, but my mom always told me that, uh, I like when I was a baby, uh, her, and my dad had to like rearrange my body for like uh, uh, well, reposition rather say rearrange. It takes they're like, yeah. Anyway, um, um, but then to do that for like maybe 20 minutes a night, because, uh, I couldn't move under my own volition, um, uh, for a certain part of that stage of my life and like, uh, um, you know, and in fact, I mean, it affected me in gym class when had to like run track or something or play football where I just was a very slow runner.

Ryan Cowley: Uh, but, um, but, but honestly you know, Um, well, I never thought of a career in track anyway. It, it, it just, it, it, you know, it, it, it, it was never a big deal. And like, um, I mean in school I had occupational therapy and like, and, um, uh, like I took a lot of, uh, typing classes cause like a lot of people who have CPE are left-handed and like, and like, uh, uh, so the left side is like considerably weaker, uh, uh, that hasn't been an issue my adult life, but, uh, but it's good.

Ryan Cowley: It's like a, they want to get me typing using, uh, both hands but like, uh, I just could never get a. Uh, comfortable use my right hand, except I just use it for like the shift and enter key. And honestly it's like, uh, you know, um, I just typed so much over the years. It's just like, I love, like, I'm able to type like, I guess like 80 words per minute using just my left hand.

Ryan Cowley: And it's like, you know, people look at me and they're like, oh man, how do you do that? And I'm like, and it's nothing to me. I'm just so used to it. But it's like, uh, yeah. So in that sense or cerebral palsy, hasn't, uh, hasn't really affected my adult life. Um, um,

Uri Schneider: Can I ask you a question, Ryan, just on that. I just think that's fascinating.

Uri Schneider: So as we're having this conversation, um, how taxing is your stuttering right now? Is it kind of like fluid flowing and doesn't really phase you or. More taxing, moderately taxing.

Ryan Cowley: I don't know. I like the more or less, the more comfortable I am, uh, the better I get, uh, uh, like for example, when we first, uh, when first began to talk and I was a bit, um, well actually the first question you asked me, I was like, uh, it, it took me a while to get a word out.

Ryan Cowley: Um, I mean, I'm still having trouble I'm. I mean, I'm not, I'm not fluid by any means.

Uri Schneider: I just want to, I just wanted to make sure my intention is clear. I found it fascinating that as you were explaining about typing, if I heard you, right. You're typing with one hand, is that right? Yeah. That's right. You're a writer.

Uri Schneider: You write a heck of a lot. I think all of us, if we sprained our wrist or had an injury to a finger and had one hand immobilized or not at full use, and we had one hand to type with many of us would start having a fit. I know I would. And you said, yeah, it's really no big deal. Like I can do 80 words a minute.

Uri Schneider: So I found that fascinating because essentially that was what you were given. You're working with what you got. It has become somewhat, not taxing, meaning it's a thing. You don't have the facility of 10 fingers to work as quickly and in coordination as some other people do, but you express yourself through typing and you get the job done.

Uri Schneider: And it's not that taxing. It doesn't, you don't see it as a big burden. And so I was just wondering with the stuttering that's going on. Not so much measuring or looking at the acoustic interruptions or flow or whatever, cadence, but more so like, is it taxing to you or do you just kind of groove through it as we're having this conversation in relation to the way you kind of said how the hand is really not a big deal.

Ryan Cowley: Oh yeah, especially the situation only business, my stuttering is not taxed We all, I just, I, I just get through it. Uh, well, well, well, it's either, it's easier to speak with you because it's like, uh, because, uh, I like second nature. I've always been like, um, you know, I'm always reminding myself to, you know, uh, I was like, I start speaking, uh, and if I have trouble, I'll say, oh, uh, sorry, by the way, I stutter.

Ryan Cowley: Which, which for some reason I say fluently, uh, um, I, um, as, and that's the thing, like, especially, uh, You know, especially getting to know the stuttering community over the last few years, whether the, uh, whether an, a podcast or the, um, uh, people from the NSA, like anything. And it's like, uh, you know, whenever I stopped to, uh, to make that fair warning, I'm like, um, I'm like, oh, wait, uh, uh, so most people you'll stop for are people who don't don't know you don't understand, uh, uh, um, these people already do so, so there's no, no need for that.

Uri Schneider: So I just think that's, I think that's profound and probably surprising. So if you're listening, you know, drop a comment or question or a like on that, because if I'm hearing you right with Ryan, you're saying, yeah, the stuttering right now, it's actually a more easy for you. Uh, even though there might be much stuttering going on, it's not taxing

Uri Schneider: because we both know what's up. Is that what you're saying?

Ryan Cowley: Yeah, exactly.

Uri Schneider: Yeah. That's incredible. Again, I think just taken for granted. So I'm just trying to punctuate that. I think it's extraordinary. So something else that you shared, and I'm actually going to read the Amazon description of your book as a lead into this, but I think the question is what's your main goal when you're writing articles or you wrote your book, like what's your goal, what's your hope, uh, the title of your book.

Uri Schneider: And I recommend everybody check it out on Amazon and your local bookseller, uh, 'All The Right Words', my journey as a sports writer, who stutters by Ryan Kelly, um, foreword by Eddie lack those of you that don't know former NHL goaltender. Uh, since this is the description here, I'll read it. And then maybe you could share with us, what's your goal in writing articles and books. "Since early childhood, I've been a person who stutters.

Uri Schneider: I also love hocky and writing, or if Canadian hooky, uh, growing up as a person whose stutter came with its share of challenges, I was bullied, mocked, doubted, and even dismissed because I had considerable difficulty speaking. These were catalysts to long-term depression leading me to doubt myself as a successful person, as an escape I would write.

Uri Schneider: And while I loved writing stories and screenplays, nothing gave me more pleasure than writing about my favorite teams and players commenting on their victories and even their defeats. It wasn't until I was an adult though, that I wanted to be a regular sports writer. Unfortunately, due to being a person who stutters I couldn't conduct phone or in-person interviews, or so I thought for years I had limited myself due to my stutter.

Uri Schneider: However, during a dark time in my life, I decided that something needed to change. With new creative methods, I gave interviewing a try low and behold, it worked. And since then I've interviewed hundreds in the sports industry while having the privilege of covering some major events and writing for some major platforms in this book, I take you on my journey as a sports writer who stutters this concludes some important people in my life who helped me achieve what I've always wanted to on a journey filled with its share of sadness and frustration, but also perseverance and vindication.

Uri Schneider: I hope you enjoy reading my story as much as I've enjoyed telling it, read on and enjoy." Well, I got shivers.

Ryan Cowley: Oh, you do?

Uri Schneider: So just, just one more time. That's okay. That's Ryan Cowley's book. You can get on Amazon, 'All the right words' and it wasn't that piece right there all the right words or what, so yeah.

Uri Schneider: What's your goal, right? As a writer of articles and books and this book, what are you, what are you hoping? It brings to the.

Ryan Cowley: I mean, honestly when I started writing, but when I really got into sports writing and like, like, uh, you know, like the attitude of, you know, of I'll make someone proud or also social skeptic.

Ryan Cowley: Th those like the furthest things from my mind. Um, I started writing basically up, like I explained it, like, I just love telling stories, uh, um, uh, as for this book, uh, uh,

Ryan Cowley: And I've said this before in speeches I made for like stuttering, uh, organizations. It's like, eh, like, you know, there have been some close friends and some family members who, you know, who have suggested that I should, uh you know that I shared my story and, and, and like, um, uh, I honestly didn't think too much of it because about, well, um, I, um, let's say like, it could be inspiring to some and I mean, I never, I'll be honest.

Ryan Cowley: I never saw my stories as the same thing like that. And like, uh, uh, uh, same just my story and how I did things and it wasn't a big deal and that's, and that's really, I was sought and, and then the more I thought about it, I'm like, well, well, you know, okay, maybe we'll try this because cause like my attitude is that like, it's, like I said, my speech, the speech before.

Ryan Cowley: This will be a completely worthwhile, excuse me.

Uri Schneider: It's the sick episode, just to reminder

Uri Schneider: that's great.

Uri Schneider: What would be, um,

Uri Schneider: if you were. I give you do one more question before we get to the golden question, which I share with you at the beginning. Um, if you have a few moments yeah. Take a little bit, a little bit extra time over time.

Ryan Cowley: Um, yeah.

Uri Schneider: Yeah, who was the biggest influence or mentor in your, I guess in your life? And I don't know if that dovetails with, or is separate from, in that Amazon description that I shared.

Uri Schneider: You said you were in a pretty rough spot and then from that rough spot, you kind of leaned into an epiphany of opportunity. I don't know if these things are connected, but it's kind of an unpredictable and a certain amount of dissonance with that. So I don't know, you know, was there someone that was a part of that or was that an internal spark and who might've been one of those people in the lifespan.

Ryan Cowley: Yeah, my biggest inspiration, uh, Is my brother, Adam, uh, I have two brothers. Rob is the other one. Uh, uh, now I don't want to, uh, if

Uri Schneider: you really know, you really got your foot in your mouth,

Ryan Cowley: something to the corner here. Um, yeah, before I go on with that one , it's like, whatever.

Ryan Cowley: No, like it's not that Rob is not as ?. Rob has been, uh, uh,

Uri Schneider: guys, we'll let you guys resolve all the brotherly love and all the greatness go with, uh,

Ryan Cowley: If there's any Christmas conflicts, it's not for another 12 months. So yeah. Rob has been like a huge help to me over the years and, uh, you know, but as for Adam, um, um, uh, you know, we go back to the dark time in my life, 2016, uh, um, uh, um, he was actually the one who suggested that, uh, uh, that I try, uh, the alternative, uh, uh, Communication method if you will, to, uh, uh, attack some of those questions.

Ryan Cowley: Because cause at that point, I mean, like I was just so, I mean, I was unemployed, I was lonely. I was like, you know, throw it every adjective out there. I was just like it's I was just like angry and bitter generally. And uh, you know, one of those things that really took a toll on me, like meant emotionally, but like even physically, it was like, I couldn't even, I mean, I could get out of bed, but it, it took a while.

Ryan Cowley: Um, yeah. And I remember around that time, it's like, Hey, I want to do this to keep myself busy, nothing else. But I, again, too bad. I started that the whole like, uh, that negative mindset that I've had for such a long time. And then Adam said to Jess that, well, um, 'cause like the late movie, like broads rebirth had, uh, at the end of his life, when he had cancer, he had a voice synthesizer to help him speak.

Ryan Cowley: Uh, now of course I knew why I didn't have the funds to, uh, to get that. But, uh, but also made me think because like, like I uh, 2016, uh, you know, and the adage, there's an app for that. It had been around for a few years at that point. Uh, um, and that's how I thought of like, um, of recording my questions into an app and then, uh, and then playing them and, um, uh, yeah, and Adam was a big help because whether it's reading, whether it's, uh, um, you know, uh, whether it's even like my non-writing career, it's like, you know, you know, he always gave me, uh, suggestions and he was always like very encouraging.

Ryan Cowley: Uh . I mean, not all of his ideas were great, but like, uh, but, but a lot of them were and like, and at no point Adam or anyone, really in my family, uh, you know, had said like, like, uh, uh, uh, oh, well, well, I honestly don't know what else you can do. Like, like a no point that he or they had ever said that they were always Adam especially was always giving me like a lot of, uh, uh, like good encouraging ideas.

Ryan Cowley: Like, try this, try this, try this. And, and like, you know, and I'm thankful to Adam for that, but a lot of things, like, for instance, I mean, I'm a LA Kings fan because of Adam, because Adam was a big wink rescue fan. And, and because we lived on the east coast, uh, Kings games started, uh, it was like three hours later.

Ryan Cowley: So Adam would always take that time if my parents were in bed or something. And we always take that time to bond. And I mean, talk about hockey, but also just talk about like life in general. So, that's on, sorry, going back like a lot of people who have inspired me who are my inspirations, uh, but, but I argue it's my biggest brother Adam.

Ryan Cowley: Yeah,

Ryan Cowley: I'm going to assume he does not stutter. Is that right?

Ryan Cowley: Yes, that is correct.

Uri Schneider: So you can you can be an inspiration and be as supportive ally, uh, and family member and friend, even if you don't stutter. Yeah, that's right. And, and, and also it's encouraging for those of us parents, friends, partners, siblings who feel so overwhelmed by the experience to just like, yeah, just show up, just, uh, have those conversations and be the brother, the spouse, family member, parent for anybody.

Uri Schneider: And, uh, obviously with a little extra little extra topic to explore a little extra something to, to connect around. So the golden question that I like to finish with is knowing what you know now, what would you want to be able to kind of go back and tell your 12 year old or 14 year old self little .What would be one bit of wisdom

Uri Schneider: if you could go back Marty McFly style.

Ryan Cowley: Yeah. I've just watched that the other night, uh, uh, 'Back To The Future," by the way. Um, um, uh,

Uri Schneider: now there's no doubt in my mind as I was kibitzing with you before we got on, clearly your younger self would look at you today and say what's with the Boston hat, but we're going to leave that aside for now.

Ryan Cowley: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. All of the lifelong red Sox, I won't be safe.

Uri Schneider: It's okay. We're not going to, again, there's some things we're not going to get to resolve in this, in this few minutes that we have, but yeah, just, just for the record, I had to just make sure to make a point of that. Uh, Bronx born bummer you know, New York Yankees.

Ryan Cowley: I know, and I don't respect them will not talk with the 2004 ALC. Okay.

Uri Schneider: Um, okay. Do you want to end it here or do you want to, yeah.

Ryan Cowley: Okay. I'm sorry. I said that

Uri Schneider: we'll talk through, let's take a walk through a little more, you know, monument, monument park and see what we got

Ryan Cowley: . Oh, no, no, no. Oh no. As a baseball story and I, I fully appreciate that, so yeah.

Ryan Cowley: Yeah. I'm happy to do that. We got off track a bit. So

Uri Schneider: you are with your younger self, you're taking a walk. We're taking a walk through Cooperstown. Okay. And there we are field of dreams, style Cooperstown. And, uh, yeah. What would you tell your younger self as you're looking over the lake there in

Ryan Cowley: Cooperstown?

Ryan Cowley: Uh, um, Yeah, I would tell myself

Ryan Cowley: I don't ever

Ryan Cowley: guess it gets better.

Uri Schneider: It gets better .

Ryan Cowley: I, yeah. Uh, uh, yeah, cause you know what, even though I had suits, uh, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, um, I mean, I have unfortunately kind of played in, even tried suicide in later years. Uh, I, you know, my, my idea of giving up as a 12 year old, uh, it didn't involve suicide. Uh, but, uh, as, as, uh, uh, like, uh, I think the point still stands, it's like, um, Uh, uh, cause I remember like my younger self let's say said 10 to 12 arguments, like, um, uh, it, yeah, there was just so many times, uh, that like, and going back to what I was saying earlier about, you know, how I viewed my stuttering as a curse for all intented purposes and like, uh, you know, just like, oh, you know, I'm so angry at those kids for, for bullying me, but I can't stand up to them cause like, well, one I don't want to get in trouble, you know, and what if I stutter You know? And uh, and it just brings you back to that age where like everything was overwhelming and nothing seemed good. And it's like, well, if I'm being boxed out, Because I stutter, uh, and I would box out as an adult too, for that reason, unfortunately, but like, uh, uh, you know, yes, it does seem like, you know, like everything sucks and that, uh, that nothing's good, but, uh, uh, but just remember, basically three points.

Ryan Cowley: Four points, uh, um, one don't give up, uh, two, it gets better, um, three be patient.

Ryan Cowley: And, uh, and four be resilient. Uh, and you know what, um, um, uh, um, you know, it did, it may have taken me a bit longer to get where I am, but like, , but you know, I went through a lot of hardships, but the last five, six years have been, uh, have been. Beyond rewarding to say the least.

Ryan Cowley: And it's like it has been completely worthwhile the result.

Uri Schneider: No, I think that's four incredibly valuable pieces. Don't give up, it gets better be patient and be resilient. And even more than the, than the value of those words, they're valuable words written or value of a word spoken. I could speak those words, but they're even more valuable coming from you and listening to you say them and, uh,

Ryan Cowley: well, thank you very much.

Uri Schneider: I think, I think that, uh, Too many people have been encouraged and, and given encouragement and often with the best intentions, but it could be, it could be suspect or thought of as shallow or inconsiderate. If someone doesn't really know the shoes you're walking, then, um, maybe they do. You don't even know if they do, but I think on the receiving end, it's, um, it's sometimes hard for someone who's dealing with something challenging to receive those words from someone who isn't in the thick of that, or doesn't know that firsthand.

Uri Schneider: So that's why I think for so many people and for me in this moment, listening to you say those words carries enormous strength, um, thinking of you as a man with a stutter sharing these words as you're stuttering, uh, listening to you as a man would live with depression and, and cerebral palsy. And I just can't get over.

Uri Schneider: You punching out terrific articles and books. 80 words a minute with one hand. I mean, blows my mind. So, uh, I wish I was that kid to get that message from you. So I thank you for sharing that wisdom with us, and I hope this is the first of more conversations and opportunities. So I just want to reiterate Ryan Cowley.

Uri Schneider: Ryan seems to be a great name for modernist heroes from Canada. If you know who else is named Ryan, well-known Canadian, you get a prize. Um, but check out Ryan's book all the right words on Amazon, and it has been a privilege. And if you've enjoyed this episode, check out all the others. We, uh, recorded several incredible episodes with some outstanding people, which have not yet come out.

Uri Schneider: Uh, but you can find all these podcasts everywhere that you enjoy podcasts at transcending stuttering, uh, with Uri Schneider on any podcast platform. And we will be bringing out our new website. @transcendingx.com. That'll be up within a few hours with some great opportunities coming up and I want to thank Ryan and thank all of you for joining us and look forward to a strong 2022.

Ryan Cowley: Thank you.

Uri Schneider: This has been the sick episode. Hopefully the next one will be the healthy episode. Okay there we go

Ryan Cowley: Okay, cool.